She's amazing! Last night she and her husband invited your family for dinner. Although she works forty hours a week, volunteers for a teen hotline, is acting president of the PTA, does aerobics, and takes a weekly art appreciation class, she is calm and together. Her house is tidy, her three children are obedient and well-behaved, and she looks great - not a hair out of place.
Contrary to the popular "superstressed modern mom" theory, the more activities a woman opts to involve herself in, the happier, healthier, and more interesting she frequently appears. According to recent surveys, women who play multiple roles (not all of them necessarily professional) feel better physically, have a higher sense of self-esteem, and say they enjoy life more.
In the '50s, married women who pursued a career were rarities. It was a man's world. He headed the family, and his wife was his dependent. In the late '50s, a team of researchers at the University of Michigan's Survey Research Center interviewed more than 2,500 men and woman to find out how happy they thought they were. When it came to marriage, more than half the married people they interviewed said that their unions were unhappy. And almost all of those unhappily married were the women. Most of the men reported that they were extremely satisfied with their marriages.
Several recent studies indicate that a shift has occurred - that women are, by and large, the happiest people now, especially married women who work outside the home. "Married, employed parents - the busiest women - are in the best physical health," says Lois Verbrugge, research scientist at the University of Michigan. Citing a study of 700 Detroit men and women, she also found the converse true: it was the widowed, unemployed, and childless who were in the poorest of health. Two conclusions were indicated: Either being busy and occupied maintained good health, or good health empowers women to do more it their lives.
In a study of her own, Verbrugge analyzed the health of thousands of women over a period of twenty-five years. Her conclusions showed that the health status of women who did less declined, while that of women involved in many roles showed no such signs.
Two other recent studies, one of a group of 197 women and another of 96 women, were carried out by researchers at Columbia University's School of Medicine and Boston University's Department of Psychology to explore how women were coping with their life choices. Those who had chosen the multiple roles of wife, mother, and working woman were happiest and healthiest. They seemed to thrive on their busy, stress-filled lives. Then, in descending order of physical and emotional health, came single working women, married women who stayed at home, and, finally, single women who stayed at home.
The contrast between the findings of these surveys of women and those of a survey by the American Management Association of 2,800 top male business executives is striking. A startling number of these men - 83 percent of them - reported that they were not happy with their lives. They spoke of wanting a chance for more self-expression, of wishing they could be ore involved with their families, of yearning to fulfill their potential.
In an analysis of this study,
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