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We Gather Together
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16560 |
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Section : |
LIFE
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| Issue
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11 / 1989 |
1,621 Words |
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Kathryn N. Hardin
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My husband's family is a great one for togetherness. They assemble en masse from the farthermost corners of the United States for a christening, birthday celebration, marriage ceremony, graduation exercise, Fourth of July picnic, or just on general principles. And Thanksgiving is an annual tradition that takes place at Aunt Thelma's even if it's necessary to come in a horizontal position, which Cousin Jim did the year he hurt his back skiing and had to be carried in to dinner on a stretcher.
I don't mean to imply that his family is so close-knit that there's never any dissension. The truth of the matter is that there have been a number of interesting incidents form time to time. In fact, one thanksgiving there was such a hassle that Aunt Maudie and Uncle Fred packed up their RV and left before the turkey was even carved. As they drove off,though, they ran over the boxwood hedge and oulled the side off the gazebo--which didn't set well with Aunt Thelma, who was already disgruntled about the recreational vehicles parked in her yard.
"I don't care how much they paid for those monstrosities," she fumed. "They look like a bunch of gypsies out there!"
Some of the relatives stay in motels; a chosen few stay in Aunt Thelma's three-story Victorian home, which has eight bedrooms but only one bath.
Last year we had the dubious honor of staying at Aunt Thelma's.
I wanted to check into a motel with our children and grand-children, but my husband reminded me that Aunt Thelma's temper is pretty volatile and the slightest spark will trigger an explosion of monumental proportions.
When we arrived, everything was in full swing. Two of the teenagers were playing an ear-splitting version of Heart and Soul on the harpsichord. Cousin Jim was making circles on a skateboard in the driveway and Ching, Cousin Agatha's aged Pekinese, was barking hysterically as two of Maudie and Fred's children wheeled him down the hall at top speed in a baby buggy. My heart went out to him as he rounded the corner, wearing a baby bonnet with the ribbons flapping in the breeze.
Actually it isn't so bad now that our children are grown. And I must admit that at my age it is comforting to occasionally be considered one of the youngsters. Unfortunately, I usually lose my identity at these family gatherings. The minute I step through the door I have no name. I am known simply as John's wife. Last year was even worse. I was endowed with a whole new personality.
Aunt Flossie's Double
I was drinking a cup of coffee in a quiet corner with Ching hiding beside me when Aunt Thelma barreled by in her wheelchair, rolled across my foot, and crunched to a stop on Ching's tail.
His agonized yelp revealed his hiding place, and his captors swooped him up and made off with him.
"Flossie!" Aunt Thelma exclaimed when the din subsided. "I thought you were in
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