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Global Good Manners: How to Avoid Goofs and Gaffes Abroad
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14549 |
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LIFE
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| Issue
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3 / 1988 |
2,425 Words |
| Author
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Roger E. Axtell
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Etiquette is learning to yawn with your mouth closed.
--Herbert V. Prochnow
Writing in 1750s, the eminently proper Lord Chesterfield observed: "Without hesitation kiss the Pope's slipper or whatever else the etiquette of that court requires."
Etiquette, manners, propriety, deportment--whatever you choose to call it--correct behavior is more essential than ever before in this so-called "lifeboat earth."
As ten million visitors (nobody likes to be called a "foreigner") come to this country every year, and an equal number of Americans stream overseas, proper protocol is a necessary art and skill. For those who hope to succeed in business overseas, to enjoy a once-in-a-lifetime holiday, or to garner a wider education, learning to respect cultural quirks is a must.
But Americans seem to have special difficulty when dealing with other societies, perhaps because we must travel thousands of miles before bumping into distinctly different cultures. So when suddenly confronted with a Latin abrazo, or cheek kissing, we recoil, forgetting that cheek kissing is as old as the Bible.
In America, time is money. We tend to be punctual and constantly aware of time. In business, we spare little time for small talk, even holding business meetings at breakfast.
But in the majority of other countries, the pace is more languid, less hurried. In meetings in the Middle East, Latin America, and the Far East, many hours may elapse before serious business affairs are discussed. In Japan, periods of silence are common, even preferred, during business meetings. One Japanese asked, "Do Americans think and talk at the same time?"
When you are invited for cocktails at 8:00 in the evening, you must consider which country you are in. in the United States, the prescribed arrival time is 8:15 or 8:30; in West Germany, it would be precisely at 8:00. Latin America? If you arrive at any of these times, your hosts will still be in the shower, because it is an unwritten law that an 8:00 p.m invitation means 9:30, 10:00... or later.
When setting a meeting time in Latin America, experienced business travelers learn to ask this question: "La hora Español o la hora Inglesa?" (Literally, the Spanish hour or the English hour?) The "Spanish hour" means "No rush... we'll automatically be thirty to sixty minutes later than stated."
Next on the protocol priority list is the ubiquitous business card. Don't leave home without it.
The ritual of exchanging business cards can be downright cryptic. I met a Brazilian businessman who neatly bent the corner of his card downward before passing it out. "Do you mind if I ask why you do that?" I ventured. "In our country," he explained, "one must be careful about someone else possibly using one's card without authorization. The bent corner is my discrete code that the card is indeed mine and that I presented
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