If you answered "yes" or "I don't remember" to any of the above, welcome. . . M.A. was created especially for you. The subsequent lessons are designed to help you--the hypertrophy of intelligence--to succeed outside of your ivy-covered walls, that is, the outside world. It's not a pretty place, but someone's got to live there.
Don't be afraid. There are others out there just like you. Others who have victoriously made the transition from astute to galoot. You can, too,
Introduction
Yes, Professor, intelligence can be dangerous. It is entirely possible that you possess what psychologists call a superiority complex. Read on and see if you fit the mold.
Possible encounter No. 1: A stranger approaches you from a dark alleyway and verbally accosts you with. "Hey, bud, got any spare change?" you, with the intellect of an Einstein, but the preservation instincts of an armadillo, will want to discourse on the philosophical entrapments of the dichotomy of the term "spare change." DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT do it! Give the moocher anything in your pockets that jingles.
Possible encounter No. 2: You have the misfortune of traveling on a plane that is in the process of being hijacked. The terrorists are discussing, in a foreign language, which passengers to take as hostages. You want to talk to them, to appeal to their better nature. DO NOT do it! Especially not in their native tongue. It makes them cranky. And the only thing worse than a cranky terrorist is a cranky terrorist who's armed.
The M.A. Way
The secret of M.A.'s success is really quite simple: We take the overburdened mind of the genius, and through a rigorous program of behavior modification and the enforced perusal of Reader's Digest, we begin to reorient the prodigy back into the fun-loving party we like to call civilization.
This is not a unique concept. For generations, various organizations have attempted to return the wayward dregs of humanity back to society. However, at M.A., we take the over-achiever, the exceptionally bright, the bane of mediocrity, and through a series of mental and physical disciplines, we devolve the individual into a not quite as productive but much more easily tolerated member of society.
But, you must take that first step yourself. No one can do it for you. (Unless, of course, you invented an android who could be your surrogate self… but you already knew that.) It may be a step you've been contemplating for some time, but you've been so busy. Sure, you won the Nobel Prize in physics for proving that two objects can occupy the same space at the same time in a parallel universe--but what about your social life?
Objectives
Here at M.A. we strive to instill the basic lack of social graces necessary for survival "out there.' Something, as seemingly simple as ordering food in a restaurant can be an anxiety-ridden situation for the perspicacious. In a hands-on
...
Read Full Article
|
